Break ups, or break downs...we all have been through it.
Though maybe not everyone reacts the same way I do, or did.
why should you even bother reading this? well I'm a college student, so obviously I haven't seen it all but I think a lot of teenagers and college students can relate to this.
I've been through 3 break ups, 2 of which were long term.
I've learned that it doesn't necessarily matter how long the relationship was.
There are ALOT of factors.
but I've compiled a bunch of things I've learned from my breakups.
The Breakup Boomerang
whether it be a rebound relationship, or "giving him one last chance" and trying again. Relationship boomeranging is never a good idea.
You leave him, or he leaves you, and then not long after you find one of you is being pulled back into the "what if's" and you both decide to "give it a go". For your own sake, I highly advise you to avoid doing this.
The Cyber Stalk
Yes, it happens. We all do it, if anyone tells you they have never cyber-stalked someone they either have never heard of Facebook, or they are lying. Though, if they tell you they've never heard of Facebook, then they are probably lying.
So you may still have feelings for your ex, possibly undying love, or the ever so popular feeling of resentment. So what can you do about this...well whether it be positive or negative thoughts you cant deny that you have been thinking about him more then you care to admit. Of course this provokes curiosity, suddenly you feel the need to know what hes doing, who hes with. you will inevitably wonder if he has replaced you, you will check his facebook, twitter, scrolls, and cave walls if you have to. Deciphering through post after post of useless calligraphy, selfies and instagram pics....until you're too ashamed to continue. If you dare see a picture of him with another woman....no, lets not even go there, lets just just leave it at that.
Drop it, Stalk it, Block it
so you've broken up, you've stalked him to the point of shame, and you're wondering, what now?
well, If you're anything like me, even if you have literally no positive feelings toward him, you may still feel "possessive" towards him, he was yours at one point, and even when its over you still don't like thinking that someone else will get it, sounds a little spiteful actually. I guess it just goes to show us that when it comes to boys, we are all 3rd graders, fighting over the last red crayon.
Block it. You don't necessarily need to block him, maybe un-follow his posts, change your privacy settings or just delete him. I mean, if youve already deleted him from the rest of your life why not do it on facebook. You dont need him checking up on you, you may like the idea that he can see how good your life is without him, but this goes both ways, and it can stir up some old feelings that most of us just want resolved!
Deleting him is like wiping the slate clean, after the breakup you don't still keep those photo booth strips of the two of you kissing magneted to your fridge do you? no, you toss that in a big box marked "who the hell cares" and you shove it off in some dusty place where it can slowly disintegrate on its own, preferably away from sunlight and any living thing, nothing needs to be exposed to that big box of resentment. Just like that, you delete all Facebook pictures of the two of you, untag him from everything, Maybe you will cry, maybe you will be laughing like a hysteric lunatic, but it helps to backspace that emotional typo out of your life. While your at it you might as well delete his number, and email, and existence from your phone, computer and mind.
How do you know if you should delete him?
You stare at the chat box waiting for him to come online
You contemplate furiously whether or not to message him
If you message him you stare at the chat window until it has be "read"
You freak out until he messages you back
You "accidentally" send him messages to get his attention
You post things hoping he will notice and that it will trigger some sort of response.
Here's the thing, if you're messaging him, or being neurotic then you are making yourself seem pitiful and you lose all control. He wont regret breaking up with you for a second because You're just some pathetic girl who's hung up on him just like you were the entire relationship. BUT if you delete him then you have the power!
That's my logic.
Though maybe not everyone reacts the same way I do, or did.
why should you even bother reading this? well I'm a college student, so obviously I haven't seen it all but I think a lot of teenagers and college students can relate to this.
I've been through 3 break ups, 2 of which were long term.
I've learned that it doesn't necessarily matter how long the relationship was.
There are ALOT of factors.
but I've compiled a bunch of things I've learned from my breakups.
The Breakup Boomerang
whether it be a rebound relationship, or "giving him one last chance" and trying again. Relationship boomeranging is never a good idea.
You leave him, or he leaves you, and then not long after you find one of you is being pulled back into the "what if's" and you both decide to "give it a go". For your own sake, I highly advise you to avoid doing this.
The Cyber Stalk
Yes, it happens. We all do it, if anyone tells you they have never cyber-stalked someone they either have never heard of Facebook, or they are lying. Though, if they tell you they've never heard of Facebook, then they are probably lying.
So you may still have feelings for your ex, possibly undying love, or the ever so popular feeling of resentment. So what can you do about this...well whether it be positive or negative thoughts you cant deny that you have been thinking about him more then you care to admit. Of course this provokes curiosity, suddenly you feel the need to know what hes doing, who hes with. you will inevitably wonder if he has replaced you, you will check his facebook, twitter, scrolls, and cave walls if you have to. Deciphering through post after post of useless calligraphy, selfies and instagram pics....until you're too ashamed to continue. If you dare see a picture of him with another woman....no, lets not even go there, lets just just leave it at that.
Drop it, Stalk it, Block it
so you've broken up, you've stalked him to the point of shame, and you're wondering, what now?
well, If you're anything like me, even if you have literally no positive feelings toward him, you may still feel "possessive" towards him, he was yours at one point, and even when its over you still don't like thinking that someone else will get it, sounds a little spiteful actually. I guess it just goes to show us that when it comes to boys, we are all 3rd graders, fighting over the last red crayon.
Block it. You don't necessarily need to block him, maybe un-follow his posts, change your privacy settings or just delete him. I mean, if youve already deleted him from the rest of your life why not do it on facebook. You dont need him checking up on you, you may like the idea that he can see how good your life is without him, but this goes both ways, and it can stir up some old feelings that most of us just want resolved!
Deleting him is like wiping the slate clean, after the breakup you don't still keep those photo booth strips of the two of you kissing magneted to your fridge do you? no, you toss that in a big box marked "who the hell cares" and you shove it off in some dusty place where it can slowly disintegrate on its own, preferably away from sunlight and any living thing, nothing needs to be exposed to that big box of resentment. Just like that, you delete all Facebook pictures of the two of you, untag him from everything, Maybe you will cry, maybe you will be laughing like a hysteric lunatic, but it helps to backspace that emotional typo out of your life. While your at it you might as well delete his number, and email, and existence from your phone, computer and mind.
How do you know if you should delete him?
You stare at the chat box waiting for him to come online
You contemplate furiously whether or not to message him
If you message him you stare at the chat window until it has be "read"
You freak out until he messages you back
You "accidentally" send him messages to get his attention
You post things hoping he will notice and that it will trigger some sort of response.
Here's the thing, if you're messaging him, or being neurotic then you are making yourself seem pitiful and you lose all control. He wont regret breaking up with you for a second because You're just some pathetic girl who's hung up on him just like you were the entire relationship. BUT if you delete him then you have the power!
That's my logic.